


The Losers Read Your Wholesome Tweets

by RedConverse



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adult Losers Club (IT), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Comedian Richie Tozier, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie is a bit feral, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Interviews, Multi, Not Beta Read, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Social Media, This Is STUPID, Twitter, Twitter is gay and so is my fanfic, a little bit of wlw and mlm solidarity, because I'm not a coward, doing it for the girls and the gays, richie eddie and beverly really said lessbian rights like that huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24092734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedConverse/pseuds/RedConverse
Summary: The Loser's Club reads your wholesome tweets and this is purely self indulgent. That's it.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 15
Kudos: 185





	The Losers Read Your Wholesome Tweets

LOSERS READ WHOLESOME TWEETS- transcribed

[Upbeat jiggle plays as title card appears, it reads ‘The Loser Club Read Your Wholesome Tweets’. We cut to seven people standing in a completely white room in front of them is a table with a bowl on it, all of them are murmuring to each other as if they’re unaware they’re being filmed.]

Offscreen: Alright guys we’re rolling!

Eddie: Oh shit, really?

Offscreen: Yep! Could you guys introduce yourselves?

Bill: Yeah sure. I’m Bill Denbrough, best-selling author and screenwriter.

Beverly: I’m Beverly Marsh, owner and head designer of Marsh Designs. 

Ben: I was formally Ben Hanscom, architect but I’m now Ben Marsh, architect.

[a massive smile spreads on Ben’s face]

Offscreen: You took her name?

Ben, still smiling: I did. It was important to me and to Bev that she kept her name, she’s always gonna be Bev Marsh the girl who doesn’t take shit from anyone and I don’t want to be Ben Hanscom if I can be Ben Marsh instead, you know?

[Richie Tozier makes fake gagging noises]

Richie: Urg! So much love, it makes me sick. Ben taking Bev’s name was the worst thing to happen to me because now I can’t make Ben Handsome jokes anymore, it’s a hate crime!

[Most of the Losers start laughing except Ben, who’s shaking his head, and Stan who looks bored]

Eddie, trying his best not to laugh: You’re such a dickhead! 

Richie: Whatever Eddie babes. I’m Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier, that comedian who had a breakdown on stage then came back gay. Watch my Netflix special for [Richie pauses looking unsure for a second] clear skin!

Stan, he sounds deeply disappointed: Please don’t try to be hip.

Richie: I don’t need to try, I just am you bitc-

Eddie: Alright! I’m Eddie Kaspbrak, part time risk analysis full time carer of Richie Tozier. 

Richie: Love you sweetie!

[The camera zooms in on Stan as his face scrunches up in disgust]

Mike: Hi! I’m Mike Hanlon, I’m not famous at all. I used to be a Librarian but now I’m travelling around the world and making vlogs about it. Oh um, subscribe to MikeHanlonTravels. 

Stan: I’m Stanley Uris. I’m an accountant and I am not famous, please stop tweeting about me.

Offscreen: Great, do you guys know why you're here?

Bill: We’re reading tweets.

Offscreen: You’ll be reading wholesome tweets, to be precise.

Stan, sighs: Thank fuck, I thought I was going to have to read tweets from teenage girls who want to suck Richie’s dick.

Eddie splutters: What!?

Bev: He’s talking about thirst tweets. 

[Eddie doesn’t seem comforted]

Ben: Maybe we should just start?

Bev: Excellent idea baby.

[Beverly reaches into the the bowl on the table]

Bev: This one is about Bill! From @- [She starts laughing] from @billsbitch, great name! Billsbitch says ‘I am so amazed that Bill Denbrough went through so much yet he still managed to create works people love so much. Like he went through hell but he still wrote this shit! Talented, brilliant, never been done before-’ wow.

Bill: Oh. Um, thank you so much. I hope you’re using the term ‘this shit’ in a positive way. [He smiles]

Richie: ‘Course they are Billy boy! They literally call you talented immediately after. I mean your books are shit but-

Bill: Beep beep trashmouth and back to the tweet. I don’t like to think my past has held me back from creating these stories, I mean I went through hell so I write about hell but it’s nice to hear that people think I’m brilliant. Thank you.

Richie, hand already in the bowl: I’m reading the next one! [He makes a show of picking the piece of paper, lifting ones out the bowl, shaking his head then putting them back. Eddie looks at the camera like he’s on ‘The Office’. He finally picks one] Okay who’s next? Mikey! Tweeted by @alwaysaloser69, that name is my mix of wholesome and trashy, ‘@Mike_Hanlon I have never subscribed to a youtube channel so quickly! 20 minute long vids of purely the best person ever enjoying himself and travelling? Sign me the fuck up!’

Mike starts laughing: I’m glad you’re enjoying my little videos. I honestly didn’t expect to have so many people watching me and subscribing to my channel but I’m happy that doing things I like is entertaining other people.

Richie: You fucking deserve it man.

Stan: If any of us deserve to spend our life just travelling, having fun and letting people on the internet watch it’s Mike. 

[Shot focuses in on Mike as he looks straight into the camera]

Mike: Thank you alwaysaloser69, I hope you continue to watch. [He gives the camera a toothy grin and Bev and Richie fake swoon]

Stan: Oh, so now you’re just playing into it.

Mike: Next one! [He pulls a paper from the bowl] This is for Richie and Eddie. @kingtrashmouth says ‘I want to thank both Richie and Eddie for being so open about their relationship, hearing Richie talk about almost losing the man he had been in love with since he was a kid really made me look at myself. I decided to be brave because of those two and I’m happy I did. Here’s me and the girl of my dreams at prom!’ Attached is a picture.

[Mike hands them the paper to look at and an image appears on screen, two girls: one with long blonde hair wearing a baby blue dress and the other with braided black hair wearing a dark red dress, they’re holding a sign between them that says ‘It may have taken six year but it happened’. They’re both smiling at each other]

Richie: Holy shit that’s awesome! Fuck. When I was a teenager I never would have been able to do this shit. I’m so glad we could help you. You guys are a great couple.

Eddie looks a bit emotional, he coughs before he starts speaking: I think it’s really brave what you did. Richie and I never really had any gay people to look up to, it was all slurs and beatings but if we can be that, if we show that we’re, you know not perfect but happy and gay it’s all that matters. I’m glad you were brave, we’re always braver than we think. 

[Richie rubs his eyes then kisses Eddie on the cheek] 

Richie: Well said Eddie spaghetti.

[There’s a pause]

Bev: These two are a cuter couple than you guys.

[All the Losers start laughing]

Richie: Slander! Beverly Marsh! Slander!

Eddie: Also we out did them in the ‘years spent pining’ department.

Richie: Thirty years baby! We were and still are disasters. 

[The laughter dies down but the Losers continue to smile]

Eddie: My turn. [Richie passes him a paper] Alright my victim is… Ben. @multifandommess ‘Ben is the perfect man and you can quote me on that. He’s everything you could want and he is absolutely the man Beverly Marsh deserves’ damn right. 

Bev: He’s more than what I deserve. 

Ben: I can’t be more than you deserve if you deserve everything. [They smile at each other] 

Richie: Alright lovebirds we get it. 

Ben shakes his head the looks up from Bev: Thank you for the tweet, not sure what to say about the claim that I’m the perfect man-

Bev, cutting him off: Not a claim, just a fact.

Ben, continuing: -But being called ‘the man Beverly Marsh deserves’ is the best compliment I could ever receive. Okay, do I pick now? 

Bev: Yep, here [she passes him one of the tweets]

Ben: This is by @stantheman and it’s about Stan the Man. ‘I find it hilarious that Stan’s whole thing is being the non-famous loser yet we’re all stanning him (pun intended). Then again how could we not love a sarcastic accountant from Maine who both loves and hates his friends? In conclusion gIVE STAN A YOUTUBE CHANNEL’ [Ben makes a point to yell the words capitalised] 

Stan: What would I even make videos about? How to file your taxes?

Bill: Maybe you could talk about what you and Patty do in your spare time?

Stan; Who would watch me and my wife talk about home decorating for two hours?

Eddie: This person apparently.

Stan: Thank you stranger on the internet and please remember that I am not famous and will not be making a youtube channel.

Mike: You sure man? I make like, a pretty decent amount on ad-cense alone. 

Stan: I’ll think about it then. [Stan picks up a piece of paper] This is for Eddie.

Eddie: I thought we had already done me? 

Stan: Apparently not. @forthegirlsandthegays says ‘I am so proud that Eddie Kaspbrak not only left the cycle of abuse he was in and is now out there being who he really is. Him and Richie are so good together you can tell they care for each other. He’s really someone to aspire to for people like me.’

Eddie: Yeah leaving my wife and to an extent my mum was hard, when all you’ve know is being controlled it’s fucking hard to be your own person. 

Richie: Eds still has some habits from his abuse too, like he’ll ask me for permission before he does most things-

Eddie: And this asshole always says the same fucking thing ‘why would I give a fuck?’ 

Bev: Honestly though Eddie, we’re all proud of you, you know that, right?

Eddie: Yeah yeah, I know. Richie tells me so five times a day.

Richie: Spaghetti man! I have a reputation to uphold!

Eddie: Whatever. From the tweet it sounds like this person is in a similar situation to me, before Richie, and I just wanna say to them that this shit isn’t all you are okay? One day you’re gonna be your own person and the bullshit way you’ve been treated won’t fucking matter. 

Bev: I can drink to that!

Eddie: Should I read another one, then? Okay this is for Bev, seems we’re on a roll for past abuse. @MarchMarsh ‘Beverly is strong and beautiful. She left her abuser (a really hard thing to do) then she married Ben Marsh (he took HER last name, icon) and now she’s got her designs everywhere? Like Vogue is begging for this woman to do more interviews with them??? I am absolutely not ashamed that this goddess was my gay awakening’

Bev, giggling: Woah, happy to hear I made you realize that. Few people know this but I’m actually bisexual myself! I just have a preference for men but if Ben was to mysteriously disappear you can hit me up MarchMarsh.

[The Losers start laughing]

Ben: Don’t say that Bev! You just signed the warrant for my assassination.

Bev: Sorry, babe. You life is in MarchMarsh’s hands now.

Ben: She is right though, you are strong and beautiful.

Mike: The six of us and MarchMarsh can start a Beverly Marsh fan club!

Bev: Okay you lot. Last tweet for Richie. ‘Who let @Richie_Trashmouth create a Netflix special that would make me cry not only from laughter but also from sadness AND joy? This king really said “fuck my old demographic I’m gonna pull through for the gays” and he did?? Like talking about internalized homophobia then making jokes about fucking your mom, the power. Never been so jealous of Eddie in my life.’ that was from @brb_cryingrn.

Richie: I knew ‘your mom’ jokes still work! 

Eddie: Funny how you can ‘pull through for the gays’ but you can’t pull out for the gays.

Richie, doubled over laughing: Fucking hell, how are you funnier than me?

Eddie: Nowadays you get most of your material from me so it’s not hard. 

Richie: Savage Eddie darling. 

Stan: You’re not down with the kids Richie, you’re a middle aged man, don’t say savage.

Richie: I’m doing it for the gays, Stanley! I’m pulling through for the gays!

Stan: One Netflix special and suddenly you’re a gay icon.

Richie: You keep going like this, Stan the Man, and I’ll get my fans to cancel you!

Stan, voice completely flat: Oh no. Not the teen girls. Anything but the teen girls.

[The video cuts to all the Losers standing together and looking at the camera]

Bill: This was the Loser Club reacting to your wholesome tweets.

Bev and Ben: Like and subscribe!

Stan: Unfortunately more videos of us doing things like this will be coming soon. So, stay tuned if you want.

Richie: Watch my Netflix special!

Eddie: You fucking sellout. [He pauses] It’s called ‘Out and Almost Proud’.

Mike: And watch my travel vlogs.

Offscreen: That was great guys! Now you guys ready to read some thirst tweets? 

Stan: Oh fuck thi-

[Video ends]

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently working on a reddie fic that is honestly just me working through my tramua around my first gay crush so that's fun! I made this to cheer me up. Comments and kudos are appreciated and let me know if this should become like a series? Massive shoutout to BayleyWinchester for inspiring this fic checkout their (much better series) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560019 !!! Thanks for reading!


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